If You Tell by Gregg Olsen

Hello Beautiful People! Welcome to a new book review! For this review, I get into If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen. I feel like the only word to describe this book is wow. Just wow. My jaw was on the floor the whole time. I am always so blown away by true crime novels like this that manage to shake me to my core, but this was definitely one, so let’s get into it!

Main Players:

• Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek: Three sisters who grew up in a horrifying home situation , and managed to make it on the other side to tell their story
• Shane Watson: The sister’s cousin who was a brother to the girls, is abandoned by his parents and grows up in the same house of horror the girls do
• Shelly and Dave Knotek: The girl parents who enacted unthinkable punishments and requirements on their girls as they grew up, Dave was out working a lot but would go with whatever his wife Shelly wanted to do to their children and others
• Kathy Loreno and Ron Woodsworth: Two of Shelly’s friends who would live with the family at different points of the girl’s growing up, it’s through these two that the children would see their mother’s ability to not only control her children through cruelty but other adults

*** Some warnings for future readers ***

• This is a true crime story, everything that Nikki, Sami, Tori, Shane, Kathy, and Ron experience in this book is true
• This book includes murder
• This book includes child neglect, severe child abuse, and inappropriate punishment
• This book includes manipulation, severe gaslighting, and control of others

My Review

I still cannot wrap my brain around the fact that If You Tell by Gregg Olson is a true crime novel, and everyone in this book experienced what they did. My jaw was on the floor the entire time while reading this book.

If You Tell while being a true crime novel that revolves around the darkness and cruelty of Shelly Knotek, but is mostly a book that focuses on the strength, perseverance and love between the three sisters who suffered at the hand of their mother. I like true crime novels, but I am very critical of the way they are written. I have to say that I found the way that Gregg wrote this book and told the story of the experience of Nikki, Sami, and Tori growing up to be a very respectable one. At no point in time did I feel like Shelly was receiving any form of sympathy for her actions, and while she did experience some hardships, they were never presented as being the excuse for why she acted the way she did. I do wish that Dave caught some more heat in this book, but at the same time, this may have been hard to do because it seems like he’s never switched away from his original way of thinking and always loving his wife no matter what.

I gave If You Tell a 9/10 rating. I could not put this one down once I started. I was so interested in this life that Shelly and Dave had created for their family and how it would ultimately play out in the end. I won’t get too much into the actual story itself in this book because I honestly think everyone has to check this one out. It’s one of those books that really reminds you that you have not one clue what goes on behind closed doors, but there are things that we as people in society can give more focus to to protect those who are vulnerable and see the signs before it’s too late.

I have to say as well I am glad that Gregg wrote this book as well as he did because Shelly and Dave have both since been released after catching charges for everything they did, and I am glad there is this piece of literature out there that tells the accurate story of what Nikki, Sami, and Tori went through so those two can never hide from it. I honestly don’t doubt that if Shelly’s name wasn’t as well known by this book she could have potentially done what she’s done to others for years on someone new once she was out. I mean manipulation and hurting people are in Shelly’s core, I don’t think that she could ever move away from it. It seems like even while in prison she claimed innocence so I would not have been surprised if she would have tried to change the narrative if this book wasn’t released before she was let out.

I have to give so much credit to those who came into Shelly’s path whether by choice or not, and were able to make it out the other side. The fact that Shelly was able to raise two of her three children to adulthood before being caught is horrifying, and for Nikki, Sami, and Tori to still all be connected together through this all is a testament to their strength. I also have to praise these women for never turning on each other. There were so many opportunities for them to turn on one another, to hold grudges against things that their mother caused against one another, but they never did. There is a point in the book where one of the sisters is extremely resistant to going to authorities. No one judges her or gives her grief for not being ready to turn their mom in. I just appreciated that through this all these women would still have the ability to be kind and compassionate people. Shelly at points as well while raising her children would have favourites who would get less punishment than others, if anything the other girls would just be happy that they were getting the bulk so the others weren’t getting as much. All these sisters wanted to do was protect one another and be able to break away from their mother alive.

Mental illness, or the question of it definitely plays a role in this book. It’s clear that what Shelly and Dave do to their children destroys them emotionally and mentally but if it wasn’t for these parents their children would have been fine in these ways. The girls also clearly suffer from Munchausen’s and Stockholm’s syndrome throughout the book, but this would be expected given that they needed to find ways to survive in this deadly environment. The question comes in as to what role mental illness plays when it comes to Shelly and Dave. I think Dave had to be in some way mentally ill to go along with all of the sick things his wife did and never question it. I feel like it’s unfair to give him that though because throughout the book he would routinely deny that the two ever did anything wrong. It wasn’t until he was faced with the evidence that he would admit to things. I struggle to feel like he actually holds any remorse for the role in played in torturing his children, or the role he played in not stopping in, and if anything feeding into it. I think he genuinely is just a terrible person. I think there was a part of him that knew he couldn’t just leave his wife and take their children, but there were things he could have done to make it so they could do this and not have Shelly follow them. I just struggle to believe that if he did want an out there wasn’t any way for him to take one. I think Shelly is also severely mentally ill, but I don’t say this as it is an excuse for her actions, more so just a way of explaining how she could have gone so far with it. She has to have some very severe form of a narcissistic personality disorder or something because I have never heard of someone with so many loser tendencies feeling like they could control the world in the ways that Shelly did. For someone who was in every way a leech to everything around her Shelly is an extremely confident woman who believes she deserves all without having to put in any effort.

If you love true crime books that are respectful to the victims then I would definitely say you have to check out If You Tell by Gregg Olsen. I think supporting books like these is important for the victims, especially when the perpetrators are still alive and able to hurt others and their victims if they so desire.

Have you read If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen before? What did you think?

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